By Darlene Barss

Happy Hallowe’en to all. On this Halloween day, I am going to tell you a frightful tale. It may or may not make sense and it may or may not be scary, but just start up that playlist and let’s see how it goes.

It started off when I found the perfect Halloween Mask and headed out to get me some Candy. I was imagining a whole lot of it, like Candy Walls of it and was lost in my dream of all that super sugar goodness. I soon realized there was somebody Creepin behind the bushes. That Creeper gave me the heebie-jeebies. It just Creep On Creepin On and Freaking Out the Neighbourhood. With A Windful of Screams I ran from that neighbourhood but the Other Spooky Is the next neighbourhood seemed to be Cursed. There were strange things going on that made me think the Devil was behind it all. I thought maybe if I could Give the Devil Back His Heart we would be okay. But the Devil’s Got a Gun and is hard to make a deal with especially when you aren’t sure just who he is. I finally figured it out and shouted “Plastic Man, You’re The Devil I can see it in your Devil’s Eyes!” He just laughed and that Satan is The Whistler and summoned his Demon Lover. I certainly was in no mood to be a Demon Host so while he Fed From Her Hand, we took off on a Death Drive and unfortunately found ourselves on the Boat Gas Death Train.

That ended as you might expect, with a lot of Blood. Blood On Our Hands, head to toe and everywhere else. It was like Blood & Honey all mixed up and I could even see Blood in the Sun. It was definitely Killing Time around there so there was nothing left to do but Lay Down In the Tall Grass under a Willow Tree and hope for some Cemetery Breeding and a Proper Burial. At the Burial where they were planning to Bury Me, a bunch of people ran in and were saying Dig Gravedigger Dig we need more Graves. So many Graves! It is a Grave Situation Pt.1 and quickly becoming a Grave Situation Pt.2. We are going to need Mass Graves/Dance Caves to deal with all these Dead Things, Pt. II. Can’t you hear the Cries of the Dead?

It was then We Saw Ghosts. There were so many Ghosts. There were wispy Ghosts and Weighty Ghosts. Whole Ghost Towns of them. One Tuff Ghost really put on the Ghost Pressure and Let Spirits Ride. I really wanted to Haunt You because after all I Died So I Could Haunt You. I was focused on that as others went off to do some Mansion Haunting and went into Witchwood looking for the Night Witch. They brought her to the Boneyard and Shook Our Bones. She made This Bed of Shattered Bone into a Danse Macabre much to the Zombie‘s Delight. Those things are so stupid and Zombie Eyed and eat Brains For Breakfast but there are other much worse Winged/Wicked Things out there. Like the worst Vampire the Vampire of the West Coast. He is such a Monster. He can put a Monster into Monster Hospital that is how much of a Monster he is. Did I mention that he was a Monster? I don’t mean just a Creature. Sure Creatures Of The Night are scary as are the Lovely Little Frankenstein but can they Destroy The Orcs?

They all have their Evil Ways and all This Terror is enough to make you Scream but let’s have some fun. Let’s go do some Bad Boogie Ballin’ and Nightcrawlin in our Makeshift Kingdom. It is Still The Same even if you think you are (Not) Superstitious and just out for Cheap Thrills. Beware of all that Black Matter out there. It may get you too.

For some more Halloween fun, go check out Google’s game.